Being Present

I've been fortunate to fly fish with quite a few folks, either as friends, guests, or others involved in the fly fishing business community. There are a whole host of varying reasons as to why we fish - and those reasons can remain static or change through a person's lifetime. In fact, they can change daily, and within a few moments, but those temporary changes tend to fade back to the primary framework quickly, after a hatch wanes or fish caught.
Apart from that is our presence - where we are within a situation. If we are present, we are able to see what's going on, honoring those near us, functioning wholly and effectively. This, of course, means we are not just performing our sport well but the concept of being present means that other facets beyond ourselves are considered. We've all fished with people who simply have to catch more or bigger fish, fish until the day runs out - generally conquer the water and make sure that they come out looking like a hero. However, there is a fine line optically but a chasm psychologically between a person who has built up their fly fishing skill to fish well and see consistent result and is content with the daily outcome, compared to someone who has to conquer the water and has to be the hero, lest they feel empty and on edge (grumpy) because of a 'failure'.
The best examples of being present come when people honor each other. I have a few friends that I fish with in BC, Alberta, and New Zealand that appreciate honoring each other by giving way, recognizing when to give each other space, when to use tact, and who fully grasp the concept of subtlety in approach to the fishing and relations. The days go smoothly. The fish come and go, photos are taken without too much of an event, and the focus is very much less on the fish and more on the relationship. It's in these times that we are present with each other while carrying out a gentle sport. We're able to carry out conversations and be gentle with each other, perhaps being vulnerable and open & honest in communication. How wonderful those times are. Amelia & I are very thankful for those times we can enjoy fishing with others in this manner.
Of course, the opposite does happen. I recall a trip to fly fish just over a year ago. We traveled with a couple and he was totally engulfed in his world of catch-catch-catch from sun up to sun down. He had to catch fish to fill an obvious psychological need and that really warped everyone's fishing to be centered about him. The evenings were followed by being engulfed in his world of internet, Facebook, and email to give updates and "share" how good his fishing was. We might as well not been there as everything was on his timing. That was fine, it really spelled out to us where things were at regarding our relationship, but moreso it pointed at an example of not being present beyond an activity. Being so self focussed, he missed the opportunity, missed how he was sacrificing the relationship for a few fish. There was no room for talking, sharing, being vulnerable, and little room to consider honoring each other. There was no being present in what was happening in his world. I even made a comment to his wife that sometimes we can't see what's really going on in the moment, but in years forward when we no longer have the opportunities is when the light comes on to what we sacrificed when we were being so self focussed.
I've seen quite a few self focussed folks who simply live in their worlds when living, fishing, etc. It's difficult to have deeper relationships or spend considerable time with them because they show their rules of the relationship so transparently - it's about me and I'm likely not to ask too much of you or really honor you by engaging you to get to know you beyond what my projections of you are. Many people are this way when fly fishing. Just the statement "I fly fish to get away from it all" tells you whom the focus is on.
We simply hope to encourage everyone / anyone who reads this to examine that statement - not that it's wrong to fulfill a need to escape or get away from life for a while - it's just that we'd encourage more people to realize just how much the focus is on yourself. Sometimes not being / fly fishing with others until the edge of that need wears off a little will help you blend in with others when fly fishing, help reduce conflicts, and enhance your relationships and experiences.
Fly fishing is a wonderful sport and with a little forethought to where we are at emotionally and psychologically prior to heading out will allow us to consider the others we may share it with, or allow us to take time and space to fill our needs on our own time before connecting with others. It's worth the time to consider - it might enhance your fly fishing for years to come.