The Annual Disconnect

Every fly fishing season there is a disconnect from social norms. If you are in the fly fishing industry, you'll know what I mean. Every day a new customer walks into your shop, guides host new guests, or, if you're in the lodge business, there's a million facets added in running a shop, guide service, hotel, restaurant, and boat servicing all rolled under one roof. The hours are incredibly long. The season starts out innocently enough. Days are booked up and while we get to see the early rounds of NHL or NBA playoffs, we're nowhere to be seen come the semi finals or finals. Friends call and our ability to get back to them falls off the charts, and by the end of June, we're simply into our daily routine of our dusk til dawn insular worlds based on how we cope with the long hours and provide the best opportunities to our guests. From May through early October, connection with friends and family is tough. Developing relationships is almost impossible given dedication to guests, rather, the focus is on maintaining our core relationships, reaching out to others as we go, and hopefully laying friendly foundations to new friends at some point in the season. When you're up at 4 or 6 am and getting to bed at 11pm to 1am, this industry can consume 7/12 of your year. It's a good life, but it is consuming.

The difficulty comes when something dramatic occurs. Recently, my brother in law has been diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer, mastesicized to his liver, consuming his small intestine. He has been in hospital for 2 weeks and can't even hold down water. They can't remove the tumor as it is simply too consuming and the stent put in to get him nutrition has been choked off by the aggressively growing tumor. This weekend he'll undergo bi-pass surgery to eliminate the small intestine from the digestive track. They can't remove the tumor since it is so fast growing and given what it's attacking, his body wouldn't have the energy to heal. The surgery is to provide perhaps a few weeks to be with his wife and kids.
Another friend lost his father while hosting a fly fishing trip recently. He was on an extended trip with people and found out about the passing a few days ahead of the end of the trip. There was no choice but to complete the trip with so many people depending upon him. That's the nature of what we do. Put aside our situation for the betterment of others.

In both cases above, there's a surreal aura. Is this really happening? Here we are hosting fly fishing, immersing ourselves in the fantasy world escape of fly fishing, and yet we're somehow to connect with reality and realize that this stuff is really happening. The seasonal insular worlds we create to get us through the season, providing our guests the best vacation we can... surrounded by happy people and fishing, the long hours and our means of coping... suddenly we have to connect that these realities are happening to our loved ones. It's tough.

I know that even for Amelia & I, we love to develop our relationship. We love to explore each others thoughts, develop our talents, seek out new things in our lives. It's difficult to do so when we're consumed by what we do. We've been in the industry for 15 years, we know what to expect and continue on. We've matured ourselves on not fretting the temporary busy-ness from day to day. We take the time to try to connect daily, regardless if 1am becomes 2am, to allow each other time to decompress, to share something about ourselves. It's the month to month ins and outs that we have had to look at and take time to ensure we connect with each other. We choose time to connect and see how each other is, what thoughts we've each had, to look forward and try to have a plan of what we're to do when it's us time again. And yet, somehow, we try to remain connected to the world outside of our reality... the one where friends and family care, where their lives unfold and develop... where we try to ensure they know we're here. It's an interesting balance for sure. And, for anyone not in the industry, one that is almost impossible to maintain a balance in, given the seasonality of it and the financial realities the lifestyle.

Just sharing.

Anchors

If you've been to the store lately, you'll notice that the price of anchors the past 3 years has risen dramatically. A 15 pound mushroom is $45. I walked through literally every store in Red Deer and several in Edmonton, and not one 15 pound anchor was under $40. At the good old Wal-Mart here in Red Deer, their mushroom is $45 as well. When we were in Washington State this spring, the exact same anchor at the Wal-Mart Super Center there was $18. The fishing stores, Can-Tire, etc, all are priced high here in Alberta. As I walked through Wally World, I walked through the fitness department on my way to checking out the anchors. A 15 pound barbell is $13. Why are we paying $32 for a different shape?
Guess what I did? The rear anchors for the boats at Fortress are all now 15 pound barbells.  And they work extremely well given that we can't use claw anchors in the lake given the rate of loss due to heavy timber on the bottom. For anyone who wants a good, cheap anchor for their pontoon or jon boat for lakes or slow sections of rivers, barbells work as good as anything.
And as your wife drives you down the lake you can get a quick work out.

Hwy 16 & 22 waters

From Sunwapta R to the Athabasca, Whirlpool, McLeod, Wolf, Carrot, Lobstick, N Sask, Rose, Medicine, Blindman - way up & brown.

Clicky Clicky

You can tell an awful lot about a person by their fly fishing photo collection. It becomes very telling if an individual is self absorbed, loves nature, loves the art of photography, loves others, esteems to better others, has low or high self esteem, is mature in fly fishing or not. There are countless things you can learn. Of course, photography, at its core, is a self focused thing because it’s an interest photographers have, with them selecting subjects, focuses, etc. But, when it comes to having to take photos, ensuring your photo is taken, the stress of moments and the reasons for those stresses, etc, pictures can be quite telling – if you are present and aware in the moment, and honest with yourself.

In my personal case, in reviewing my photo collection, I can tell when I was younger, when I needed to be seen, when I was trying to develop photo skills, when I was trying to take advertising photos to enhance our business, when I enjoyed other people’s fishing, when I simply enjoyed what fly fishing was about, when I simply enjoyed moments regardless of people, when I was trying to better someone else's experience and put the rod away to take photos, or when I was being cocky or egotistical some years back (thankfully!). I can look back and, by being honest with myself, recognize what my state of being was. I can recognize growth or areas needing growth and choose to address those. Of course, I can just enjoy the photos.

If you look through your photo collection, honestly, you can learn a lot about yourself. That is, if you care to really, honestly look at yourself in the moments the photos are taken. If you look through your fly fishing photo collection:

• Do you take photos of every single fish you catch?
• Do you take photos of you with the fish to hilight you, or of interesting angles, colors, markings, fins, etc to hilight the fish?
• Do you prefer to take photos only of your family or on special fishing trips?
• Do you take photos of yourself or of others? And I mean, take one photo of yourself and 10 of others or of nature, insects, wildlife, scenes, etc?
• Which is more important - taking the time to take someone else's photo or you snapping a quick photo and to get back to fishing?
• Do you fish to get photos taken of your fish, or fish to enjoy something about the event and artistry of nature?
• Do you flip out on your fishing partner / spouse when he or she screws up a photo of your fish?
• Do you take time (and I mean more than one random shot here or there) to photograph others so they have shots of themselves, not just with fish but sharing moments?
• Do you yell loudly when you hook up, and make your fishing partner / spouse run 200m or more to take photos of every fish you catch? Do you get upset when he or she can’t get to you in time?
• Do you put the pressure on yourself, then, to reciprocate when he or she then hooks up? If not, why not? Is it all about you?
• Is the photograph moment always an uptight moment – making sure you don’t screw it up? More importantly, do you put the pressure on the photographer to not screw up a shot of you with every fish?
• If you are uptight about a photo, is it a one off situation in which you are trying to capture a time sensitive subject, or is it every time you shoot?
• If it’s a one off moment of being uptight, do you apologize in that moment for your actions and ensure it is received, or do you ignore your actions and just expect others to as well - leaving things unresolved?
• Just why do you need a photograph of every fish?
• Do you show the size of the fish because you need to show how amazing an angler you are, that you catch big fish, or because you’re amazed at the fact the fish get that big? Be honest. There's a big difference.
• If you catch a big fish, is that the first photo you show, or are other photos of your spouse, insects, scenery, etc shared first? In fact, do you share the biggest fish story right away or do you leave it as a sub note? Why?
• Is the process of taking your photo or you taking others’ photos enjoyable? Is it peaceful reverence and natural, or is it forced and a stressful one?
• Do the people around you cringe every time you have to take a photo, knowing it’s about to get stressful or be all about you?
• Did your trophy fish swim away with great vim or did it sink to the bottom? Did you notice? Did you do everything you could to ensure its survival or did you do everything you could to get that photo of you?
• Do you share photos of big fish to one up the other guy, to rub it in their faces that you're fishing and how great your life is?
• Do you share photos of various sized fish, mixed in with other fly fishing facets as encouragement to others, to share moments on the water when they might not be able to get out?
• What is your motivation in photography? Are the photos a true depiction of who you are or were when they were taken? Are you proud of yourself for how you acted, how self focused you were, how you treated others, where you were in life at that time? If not, have you honestly taken the time to better yourself since that time?

By looking through your collection, you can really get a handle on how self absorbed you might be; how much you give way to other people; how much you take the time to honor your friends; how much you appreciate the solitude of nature; how much time you spend with your friends; how much more effort you need to make to invite your friends fishing; how much you enjoy studying nature; how important catching fish is vs the relationships with the people you fish with; whether you have co-dependency issues; if you have avoidance issues; etc. The funny part is that you could finally be honest with yourself and finally admit what everyone around you already sees in you - because they were there with you.

The old saying “A man can fish his entire life without realizing that it’s not the fish he’s after” is very applicable to fly fishing photography and this line of thought. If you pay attention to your photo collection, and reflect upon the moments of the photos, you might realize life’s growth opportunities. These might help you find what you are truly trying to catch when fishing. Or it might reveal what flies need to change in order to help you catch what you’re seeking.

Hummingbirds

I wrote the following on a rainy day at Fortress Lake last week...

I can do it for hours, days on end. Every year it fascinates me. In fact, my favourite part of Fortress Lake Retreat is simply watching the hummingbirds zipping around. When we first put the feeders up upon arrival each spring, the leaves aren’t out on the trees and the bright red feeders stand out like giant T-Bones to a Rottweiler. They get attention.

There’s some really neat habits on show at the feeder. There is always one mean ass male that rules the roost. He’ll sit beside a feeder and keep tabs on his food. You have to realize that each feeder has a litre of sugar water, so a feeder is about 3 weeks of feed for him. He could share. But, no, it doesn’t work that way. It’s his feeder, done deal. Any time another hummer comes along – squeaky squawk and he’s on it and chases it away. At the start of the year when 6 or 7 hummers come at once, the dominant male is a light sabre like show, flying through the willows like an Ewok on those cruisers.

Eventually things settle out and it’s time to get horny. The males fly in their J-curve, peaking about 80 feet up and come straight down, arching just above the vegetation and levelling out horizontally, putting the brakes on and chirping three or four times while fanning their tail feathers. From there, it follows that route back up to the peak, and it follows the sequence two more times before going for a drink at the feeder, then to the perch to chill, waiting for baby’s momma to come along.

The females tend to lay low in the bushes, likely fearful for their tail feathers. They hang along the two bottom branches, just off the ground in the willows. They wait until there is no obvious noise or presence of the males before rising to the feeder. And naturally, Billy Joe has simply been resting on the nearest branch and comes to say hi to the female. She tries to get a little feed, but most often the male chases her into the willows and tries to play ‘tag’ with her little tail feathers.

To really impress the ladies, the males can get so aggressive when chasing the gals through the willows that the female stops on a branch. The male then pulses on horizontal plane in and out. It’s kind of eerily like the pelvic thrust that my grade 10 Chemistry teacher Mr Peet used to do in class, but I think the male hummingbird’s intent is a little different. But Mr. Peet was an odd duck, so who knows. While giving the gals the pelvic thrust show, the males humm to the rhythm. Amelia should only be so lucky. I assume the lucky dudes shake the female’s tail feathers in the bushes soon after this.

Otherwise, the hummers simply fly about, crash into the odd window, I resuscitate them, and they fly out of my hands. If we leave the yurt doors open, they fly in to check things out, and then spook up to the dome at the top of the yurt. And it’s way too hot for a little hummer in the dome, so I get the dome opener and open it until there’s a small opening. Then it’s Rescue 911 as I get a broom to try to nudge it towards the opening. Sometimes it will simply look at the broom as a good roost, and I lower the broom down with the bird sitting neatly. We look at each other and I’ll walk him out the front door. Every single one flies over to the feeder.

We position our chairs between the feeders to give a little spice to conversation. At the peak of hummingbird season the racetrack between the feeders has birds zipping past at 30 mph over our shoulders or just over our hats.

It’s really cool.

The un-Limey bastard?

After 5 weeks, finally off the antibiotics as of Friday. I'm tiptoeing around it all but the last 8 days I've not noticed (m)any symptoms of the Lyme disease that racked my body last month. Crossing the Chaba R 4 miles from the glacier was back to my typical bare feet, there's no tingling in my hands, knees, ears, nose. No fever. No night floods. Energy is back.
Now, just have to keep an eye on it because the disease apparently can come back as it can produce spores that re-propagate itself in your body. And if it does that, you're back to square one. Worst case you don't get a big rush of symptoms and it slowly builds back over time. So, am I now an unLimey Bastard or a Limey Bastard in waiting?
Time.

Hwy 11 Corridor River Update

Pick a water between Eckville & Banff Park Bdy and insert the following report:
HIGH & MUDDY.
FTR south of Nordegg closed due to flooding.

Update

All rivers west of Nojack on Hwy 16 are high and muddy right now, so if anyone was thinking of heading that way to go fishing you might want to reconsider.

Negative Example Learning

I had in mind to share a series of incidences in which there was great opportunity to learn about fly fishing, about the personal ethical and moral standards by which we fish and interact with others while fly fishing. As I mentioned, there were some things that we've had happened the past year that truly dumbfounded us. But, as I often do, I was contemplating the collective of these incidents one day, considering where life has brought me to. I've opted to not go the route that I'd planned for the blog posts.
A side bar for a moment. As a kid life wasn't great. Folks wondered how I managed to turn out as I did, coming from what I was presented with. I always maintained that in my surroundings was great opportunity to learn, simply by doing the opposite of those around me. It really worked. If my family did things one way, and the results were usually negative, then if I did the opposite, things surely would be better. It really worked. It also grew a sense of looking at the bigger picture in scenarios, to analyze what's going on. A lot of that is why I'm a decent fly fisher and go where the fishing is good. Observe the bigger picture and hone in on those waters that are likely to fish well.
But hidden in there, and the lightbulb didn't turn on me until recently, is a life long propensity for subconsciously being drawn to negative situations that cost me a part of who I am. The negative examples I was to write about are about a friendship or two and how individuals couldn't get past themselves. I was to use those situations as example to demonstrate bigger picture stuff - how one so self absorbed missed what was really happening and how others could learn from it. Now, in the realization of my own psyche, I have to ask myself if it's worth sharing the negative, drawing further negative from these people, just to share with others to hopefully help them avoid the situations I have been in - the very ones up until this week I hadn't been consciously aware that I have been drawn to all my life. The very ones I don't need to be drawn to in order to grow and develop in this good life of ours.

So, if you've followed this blog, wondered about some of the things I'd typed previously hinting at discussion of bigger picture stuff, I'm going to mull over a different way of presenting. And then I'll get back at it. And if you haven't a clue what the hell I'm talking about or don't care about this stuff:   fishing pictures coming soon.

:)

Lyme Disease, eh?

I guess it was bound to happen through the years of outdoors life and travel. Several weeks ago, our last night fishing lahontans in Washington State, Amelia had two ticks crawling on her. As she showered she found another one beginning to bite her and she dug it out of her stomach. I woke up the previous morning with a large, raised welt of an insect bite on the inside of my upper arm. Ticks were in the room, likely having come into the hotel room on our fishing gear and/or our friends' dogs. Dogs and gear were through the room, on and off the beds, and it's not like ticks don't crawl.

I do know that the next afternoon I was dizzy as hell, to the point I couldn't stand up. That weekend I had a fever, then not, headaches, neck pain, fatigue, and remained so dizzy that to walk I had to focus on a stationary object. I didn't make it far at all. Seeing the doctor, he wanted to give it a few days to see if it was simply something viral. 5 days later, while the fever symptoms came down, my other symptoms became worse. I could sit at the computer because it's stationary. I couldn't walk around the block or even up the stairs for lack of energy plus the dizziness felt like I was in a fun house. I had violent, random shivers to the point (hide your eyes ladies) I barely hit the bowl when peeing. My eyes went from stinging to not. I typically run like a furnace for body temps but my hands went purple and cold. I moved slowly, I was constantly tired. I was sweating just sitting, though my body temp was normal. I changed clothes 3 to 5 times a day. Night time I flooded the sheets even though I wasn't hot. 10 days in, still no change. I didn't have a cold or the flu. I thought I could go fishing but my body laughed at me.

Now here's the fun part. If you don't treat it as Lyme disease and the symptoms simply wane but don't go away, then you get into a second phase of Lyme. The second phase really gets into the disseminated disease, with symptoms varying wildly in a variety of your body's systems, which further complicates the diagnosis and often keeps you from doing much of anything. Sometimes the impacts are extremely serious and you can get knocked on your ass for a year or two. Lyme is not contagious, the infected person is the end of the line.

The idea is to knock it down with antibiotics for 3 or 4 weeks and try to rid your system it. Even at that, there's a chance of treatment failure due to late diagnosis, insufficient treatment, or just aggressiveness of the infection. But in the early stages you don't / can't even know that you have Lyme disease because it takes a few weeks for it to fully show in your body's systems.

So, I was put on antibiotics and the fever, head fog, and dizziness went away. However, my energy level remained low and I just wanted to sleep all the time - this for a fellow who typically gets 6hrs or so a night. In the past 4 or 5 days I have begun to regain my energy levels, just in time to open at Fortress Lake. But, curiously, I began to develop other symptoms. The bugger of it all is that I have numb tingling, itching on my knees, nose, ears, and hands. I landed one particular fish and it took a moment to release it. My hands ached for 4 or 5 minutes to the point I damned near wanted to cry. I was immobilized in pain. The nervous system can get really screwed up. If I take anything warmer than a luke warm shower my body fries. Anything cooler and I freeze. I have been able to wade in glacial water all my life but I can't stand to touch anything but luke water or I'm in serious agony. I now twitch randomly in the morning as well, which is really spooky. My hands are puffy. And I have migrating joint pain. It's a new symptom every other day. And the antibiotics have me so sensitive to the sun that even wearing 70 block sunscreen my ears blistered and scabbed, and anything open to the sun burns with the same sunblock. I have another week to go on antibiotics. I'm hoping for the best right now.

Amelia has spoken to the tick experts in the Pacific NW and there's no doubt this is Lyme disease. In the USA there are upwards of 16,000 cases per year. While I got unlucky, the 1 to 3 % of tick bites that manifest into Lyme disease have to come from somewhere. I guess I am the unlucky part of that average. Hopefully the treatment kicks this thing out. Right now my doctor is seeing my lingering symptoms as the end game of the cycle and the last of the antibiotics should flush it out. Hope so. Phase two gets more serious and treatment more involved.

So, in future, no doggies in my room when fishing in tick zones. Fishing gear will be stored outside. I'll wear waders even though I don't need to for the fishing. And every day I'll do a rigorous check of my clothing and body for ticks. I'd like to encourage you to do the same when you're in tick country. I wouldn't wish this for anyone else.

http://www.canlyme.com/

"The minimum time a tick needs to be attached to humans in order for the Lyme bacteria to be transmitted is estimated to be 24 to 48 hours, HOWEVER this applies only to the laboratory setting. In real life as a person moves, scratches, brushes up against things, sleeps and rolls over, the tick can be compressed causing its stomach contents to expel into the victim at any time. Recent incomplete attachment to an infected host could also cause tick saliva to be infective."

There are absolutely no absolutes with this. Just check yourselves for ticks. You don't want this.

Cheers